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눈치 빠른 행동으로 미움받지 않는 것

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작성자 asdsadf 작성일23-03-17 13:17 조회648회 댓글0건

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어린 시절, 친척 집에서 더부살이 생활을 겪어야 했던 저의 인생 미션은 ‘눈치 빠른 행동으로 미움받지 않는 것’이었습니다. 아버지가 사업 실패로 멀리 돈 벌러 떠나시게 되면서, 저와 어머니, 동생은 큰아버지 댁에서 당분간 신세를 지게 되었던 것입니다. 물정 모르는 동생보다 비교적 많이 자란 편이라, 부모님 사이의 일이나 세상에 대한 눈치 또한 나름 발달해 있었던 저는, 태어날 때부터 살았던 집이 경매에 넘어가고 제가 오랫동안 사용했던 손때 묻은 가구 또한 팔게 되면서, 소중한 물건 몇 가지만 챙긴 단촐한 짐으로 큰아버지 댁에 이끌려 와야 했습니다. 그 와중에 동생이 ‘소중하다’며 챙긴 짐들이 죄다 보잘것없는 물건들뿐이라, 조금 가슴이 아팠던 기억이 납니다. 아직 어렸던 동생은, 유치원에서 수련회 가듯 잠시 큰아버지 댁에서 모두 같이 합숙하며 사는 것뿐이라고 하는 설득에도 잘 넘어왔을 만큼, 순진한 아이였기 때문입니다.
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저는 그런 동생의 몫까지 대신 챙기며 형답게 굴어야 했고, 어머니가 근처 식당 일을 구해 일하러 나가신 동안 집안에서 항상 긴장을 놓지 않았습니다. 큰아버지 부부와 사촌 형, 동생들은 천성이 너그러운 편이라 우리에게 별다른 험담을 하지 않았지만, 그럴수록 신세 지는 쪽에서 더욱 굽히고 들어가 상대의 심기를 거스르지 않아야 한다는 사실을, 저는 일찌감치 깨달았기 때문입니다. 신세 지는 입장으로서 감사 인사는 항상 모자라지 않게 표현하고, 빠져야 할 때는 적절히 빠지는 등, 큰아버지 댁에서 지내던 시절의 일상은 마치 살얼음을 밟는 하루하루와도 같았습니다. 쓸데없이 노닥이거나 사고 치지 않고, 공부에도 성실히 열중하며, 어른들에게 미움받지 않는 사교성과 적절한 눈치로 타이밍을 잘 알고 파고드는 등, 제가 어디를 가도 주변 사람들의 호감을 곧잘 얻어내곤 하던 성격의 노하우는, 이때부터 다져지기 시작했던 것입니다.

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